Goodbye Merle

Tragically, two days ago in a chain of events no one could have predicted, my Merle got out and was hit by a truck and killed.  Our neighbor's son came to tell me and I got to sit out there with him and hold him and talk to him until he finally died.

He was my fresh start and he's gone much too soon.  I lost Arnold on Memorial Day and now Merle.  It never gets easier for me.  After Tj got home, I ran to the shower and sat in there and cried.  This isn't the way things are supposed to happen.  That's what we're supposed to say right? It's hard getting used to a dogless house.  If I dropped an ice cube, he would chase in there and steal it.  If I didn't want my crust, I would give it to him.  If I had to use the bathroom, he would follow me in there.  He would bump around under the bed at night and I would be content knowing he was there.  Now, I have to stop myself from calling out to him.

I stayed at home the past two days just dealing with it.  Tj and I have talked about another dog in the future, there are always going to be dogs who need a home.  My blog will stay the same.  He gave me the hope to start over and I'll carry that with the blog.  It'll just be a little harder to look at for a while.

To everyone who reached out on Instagram, I appreciate it more than you know.

Merly, I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge.  Until then...

In Other Words...

I have patiently waiting for day 15.  Favorite Quote and Why.

I love quotes.  I love quotes so much that I have three tattooed on me.  "Out the ash I rise with my red hair and eat men like air."  "She is hotter than a thousands suns, an elegant whirlwind of golden-red.  A ginger tempest."  "It seems my soul is a gypsy."

  It's honestly so hard to actually narrow down a favorite quote.  As an avid reader, I come across so many lines that really speak to me.   Then, one night scrolling through Pinterest, I came across something along the lines of "15 YA Books To Read Before The Movies".  There I found The Fault In Our Stars, which killed me.  I cried through the whole book and then through the movie.  I loved John Green so much and he had so many good lines that I immediately bought Paper Towns, which I loved almost as much.  Looking For Alaska is next on my list.

I said all of this, leading you to believe that my favorite quote is a John Green quote.  It's not.  Before The Fault In Our Stars, I read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.  This book fit squarely into my soul like a puzzle piece.  I loved EVERYTHING about how Stephen Chbosky wrote this book. I started crying in the first few pages because it felt like I was writing it.  It, to me, is a true coming of age novel and is so spot on, on how it feels to feel like you're going through life unnoticed.  And then I read this line.

I read it, and immediately shut off my Kindle and cried.  I cried because the line is perfection.  It completely encompasses this emotion that everyone has felt but hadn't been actually able to say.  I have lived this two sentences so often in my life.  And I am still trying to figure it out.  Charlie is a piece of me, well written into an amazing book.  I made Jamie read it and she had every reaction I did.  I even loved the movie which is rare.

I want to be responsible for a few chosen words that hit someone in the exact way it's supposed to.  What's your favorite quote?

The Funny Thing Is..

Monday's prompt was Your Favorite Fall Recipe and really, I don't have seasonal recipes.  I'll make soup if it's 100 degrees out.  I did find a cider recipe on Pinterest the other day where you cook 1/3 of brown sugar and heavy cream together and then add four cups of cider and cook it through until it's warm and it was amazing.  I topped it with homemade whipped cream and caramel syrup and it tasted like apple pie in a mug.  And I don't even like apple pie.

Today's prompt is Your Funniest Childhood Memory.
 I'm a pretty funny gal.  Not to toot my own horn or anything.  While my childhood was scattered with moments that were not so funny, I remember laughing a lot.  I don't know if I could pick one funny memory to define my childhood.

One of my mom's friends gave us a baby wild hog once.  We named her Chloe and she was our pet pig.  She thought she was a dog and one time she knocked over a can of Surge, drank it and went crazy.  It was pretty hysterical, and probably was a testament to what was actually in Surge.  When Jamie and I were like...5 we drug all our dad's tools out and tried to take our swing set apart.  He didn't think that was too funny.  One time, I was like dead sick and I fell asleep in the recliner with toilet paper shoved up both nostrils, snoring my face off.  That's more mortifying but is that funny?

I'm kind of glad I can't really single out one memory.  We just laughed a lot and we still do.  Usually because of me.  I think I should feel some kind of pressure to be funny, but most of the time, it's purely accidental.  I like making people laugh.  Guffaw.  Chortle.  Chuckle.  I think a good belly laugh can cure a multitude of ails.  I do remember one time, we got off the bus and walked into the house.  Our aunt Sondy was living with us at the time and we were all hollering for my mom and Sondy because we couldn't find them.  Jamie, Tonee (my little sister) and I walked into her bedroom and my mom and Sondy came barreling out of the closet with pantyhose over their heads screaming.  Jamie didn't stop running until she hit the pasture.  Tonee and I were screaming on the front porch.  They thought it was the funniest thing in the world.  Us, not so much.  I brought that memory up to my mom the other day and she still laughed until she cried.

The Thing About Advice...

Ok, so for Day 12, I'm supposed to tell you The Best Advice I've Been Given.

As dorky as this sounds, one of the best pieces of advice was given to me by my twin sister, Jamie.   She moved an hour away from me when we first graduated and I had never driven to where she lived and I was always scared I would take the wrong road or end up on the freeway.  She told me, "Casey, don't freak out if you take the wrong exit.  For every exit onto the highway, there is an exit off."  Now, after that, I used to work in Irving by the airport in the heart of traffic jam city + ongoing construction.  I lived and drove all around Austin.  But every time I take the wrong exit, I hear Jamie telling me that.

But in all reality, the two best pieces of advice came from my mumsy.  Duh.

Always be observant of your surroundings!  Any time we were going to do something remotely new, she would tell us this.  When we decided to go to Vegas, she preached it.  It was her mantra.  That along with, "Casey! Did you ever watch CSI?!  It's in Las Vegas!"  I think it's why I remember my way to places so well, because I'm always watching what's around me so I know if anything looks familiar.

After I had Wilder, I was for sure I wouldn't need help.  And she told me, "There's going to be a point where you are at your wits' end and you're going to need help.  Ask for help.  I'm only a phone call away."  In my head, I was all, "Psh, whatever Darla, I got this down."  And then, when Wilder was three weeks old, I had sauerkraut at lunch.  Wilder subsequently had the worst case of colic I had witnessed in my three weeks of motherhood.  By the time 5 AM rolled around, I had called my mom and was begging for help.  She was awake and came right over. 

What's the best advice you've received?

Gingers For President

This prompt makes me a little queasy.

If I Were President...
Look.  Let's face it.  I'm just not equipped to be president.  The thought of some really outlandish scenario that would in turn lead me to be president makes me sweat profusely.  I'm a Gemini.  I'm too wishy washy to be president.  Any immediate idea I would have to rectify any current problem would probably set off a chain of events might really screw things up.

I don't discuss politics.  I just don't.  I did vote in the last election.  I didn't brag about it.  I won't discuss it with anyone.  If people bitch and complain about anything politcal, I just stay polite and don't mention anything.  My thought is, once people get riled up over a hot topic, someone is bound and determined to say something disrespectful to someone in the room, or just say something stupid or ignorant in general.  And I try to avoid doing both of those things.

Can you imagine how stressful being president is?  I wouldn't assume to judge anyone in that position.  I wouldn't assume I could do a better job than the current president, regardless of what "information" you want to throw at me.  I think if the people who bitched about politics put as much energy into doing good deeds or supporting a good cause, the whole country and world would be a better place.  Instead, we want to point fingers and look at every bad thing that's happened and not give ANY credit to anything good that has come out of ANY president, Republican or Democrat.  Instead, we want to sit on our asses and talk about all the "bad laws" being passed, but never get up off our asses to vote and make our voices heard.  You can't hold everyone else accountable and not hold yourself accountable.  OF COURSE, you could always have better or worse presidents.  We could have a dramatic shift and fall under a dictatorship.  It's this strange case of people always thinking things can get so much worse, instead of thinking how things could get so much better.

I write all this, not expecting to have meant to say so much.  And what it boils down to, is:

If by chance, I happened to be the President, I would immediately resign and hand the job off to someone more suitable than a Ginger in the middle of nowhere Texas who has a dog named Merle she sometimes calls Meryl.  With the exception that NATURAL Gingers receive free sunblock and skin cancer screenings.  Well, how about free cancer screenings for everyone really...

I Never Thought Blogging Would...

I never thought blogging would lead to so many people.  In real life or on the interwebs.  Honestly, the blogs I read and the people I follow, secretly, I'm begging to be their friend.  I relate to the ones I read and follow and when you read a sentence they wrote or see a picture they posted that resonates in you, you want to get to know that person more.

I think I've always written better than I've spoken.  Even with my high school crush (awww yeah), I had the courage to pass him notes but never really speak to him.  Most people hide behind their words but mine really show who I am.  In blogging, you find people who can appreciate that.  They share that same passion.  I was always teased in school for my love of reading and writing and in the blogosphere, that is the norm.  I've never had a core group of women who I wasn't related to.  I feel like I have that now, just in the one year I've been blogging. 

Blogging has taught me so much about myself, it's made me more confident, more courageous when it comes to trying new things and meeting new people.  I think some people think that "likes and comments" on blogs and posts is a little narcissistic, I don't.  I think every little blip that someone takes the time to click or show, means they get what you're saying.  They care about what you care about.  I never thought blogging would create a network that I would be so lucky to be a part of.

Arrr'nt You Glad It's Almost Halloween?

I have to pick: My Best/Worst Halloween

Ok, so Halloween used to not be a big deal for me because I just didn't like dressing up.  But when I had Wilder, I knew I was going to dress up with him his first year.  The best thing about Halloween with kids is that you get to learn their personalities and what they like so you know how to dress them up.  His first year, we were pirates.

We didn't trick or treat since Wilder was only 10 months old but we handed out candy in our subdivision and Wilder got to see all the cool costumes and we totally overbought candy so we were a really popular house.

His second year, he was Mike Wazowski.  We went to a local community gathering and Wilder loved it.  But his costume was a little warm and it was hot that day so we didn't force his hood on him.  He got to play games and run around.

This year he's gonna be Luigi and his dad is going to be Mario and they'll probably go back to the community gathering.  It sucks, because you don't ever think about splitting up holidays but I'll take what I can get.

But when Jamie and I were kids, I remember Jamie wanted to be Snow White so bad.  And my mom colored her red hair with black shoe polish to make it look more authentic and that took FOREVER to wash it.


Got any better stories for me??