Monday, December 29, 2014

I Don't Like Reviews

I've been a bad blogger since Merle died.  I'll do better in the new year.  Jamie and I were discussing this past year and while it's had its ups, it's definitely had it's downs.  It almost seems like more downs than ups. actually.  And I hate that.  I'm not a negative person, generally.  Reviews almost always bring back bad feelings or reminders of things we don't want to rethink about.  Let me tell you about it.

-In March, Clint and I decided to divorce and I moved home, leaving all my new friends and experiences behind.  Leaving behind half my dogs and both my cats.

-In May, Arnold went missing.  The dog I had from a puppy when Wilder was a baby.  They grew up together.  Wilder was the only person Arnold cared about and then he was gone.  The first dog I lost this year.

-In September (I think), my father called to tell me first that he had throat and lung cancer that he decided not to seek treatment for.  Still not over the grief of my parents' divorce, I had to learn to process that too.

-My mother was struggling to find herself as well.  She stopped cooking which she loved to do and we were all just sad and struggling to find our places with her.

-In October, Merle was hit and killed.  He died in my arms.  Just as I had rebranded my blog around him.

But then I wanted to think about the good things.

-I met a man that has been nothing short of amazing to Wilder and me.  He's home every day, something I've never been used to, and he's jumped in right with me on renovating his home.  Plus, he got me an apron front sink for Christmas!

-Wilder is almost potty trained!  And he turned three!

-My mother is happy and cooking again.

-We got two new puppies, CiCi and Dixon.  Or Cinderella and Prince Charming as I call them.

-We went from barely seeing my sister the first two years of Wilder's life to spending every Sunday with them.

I felt like this year kind of knocked me around.  Some of it I asked for, and some of it completely blindsided me.  I've never been scared of the dawning of a new year.   I love a fresh slate.  A new year full of new memories, new milestones, new adventures.  And I can't wait to see you in it.  Thanks for plugging along with me.  I'm glad I have you, too.


Adrian {Happy girl} said...

I love that beautiful first picture and quote! Seems books are in our future ;)
You're an amazing lady, Casey. You have so much grace and fortitude. I'm so proud of how you've managed to not just make it through the tough parts of this past year, but to thrive despite it. 2015 will be whatever you make of it, and no matter how great life is, there will always be hurdles set to trip you up, so just do your best to brush it off and keep going. Love you!

Amy @The Crazy Wise Woman said...

I have been meaning to start reading your blog every time I see you pop up on my IG feed!!! I understand years with ups and downs very well, hang in there! Looks like you got some pretty good stuff this year too! Cheers to a great 2015!!!

Michelle Hancock said...

I am so glad that I met you at the TXWB dinner. You have a great personality and I look forward to learning more about your blog soon. Sometimes you just need a break from blogging to refresh yourself. Looks like you are on the right track though. I also can't wait to pick your brain about potty training! Hooray to a new year and a new you!

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing, strong woman, and a fantastic mother. Let's both have better years in 2015.

Just Jinny said...

Did my comment get eaten? *la sigh*

Just Jinny said...

You've had one heck of a year. Up and down and round again. I'm calling 2014 the "holding pattern" year, nothing changed. And my blog might be dying a slow painful death. Not sure it can be resuscitated but I'm debating another round with the shock paddles.

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